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Thought for the Day | 9-17-13

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Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. -Howard W. Newton

#KiKiRichardson #Communication #Tact #Class

Take A Peek! | “It’s OK: Men Tell ALL!” 4-27-13

Question from a follower… | October 10, 2011

I received the following letter in my inbox and the writer wants your help!

Please share your thoughts HERE (in the comments section) or on my Facebook page!

Hi KiKi…

I have been with my boyfriend for over five years, we live together and I don’t want to be with him anymore.  I love him, but I am not in love with him.  We always argue and haven’t been intimate in over a year and a half.  I have tried almost everything to get rid of him but he just won’t leave (including not speaking to him for weeks at a time ) and now he has this idea in his head that we should get married!!  It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I have to figure out a way to make it “his idea” to break up with me because he would never break up with me and leave on his own.  Honestly I think he is more “obsessed” with me that “in love” with me and I think he would stalk me or maybe even do something harmful if I was ever to really leave him.  Can you or your followers help me come up with a way to make this break up HIS IDEA so he would leave me alone for good?  (This is only an excerpt)

Break-ups are like removing a bandage…if  you do it quickly the pain will be over before you know it!–Unknown

TTFN…

The Consummate Provocateur

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Never Dim Your Light for Others to shine…NEVER Apologize for Being YOU!!


My 1st Time… | The Recap (via Playing Devil’s Advocate™)

This show was hilarious!! I am listening to the archives right now and reading the chat room transcripts and I am giggling!

My 1st Time... | The Recap         My 1st Time…–The Recap Originally aired: Wednesday, September 7, 2011 LISTEN NOW!!     Happy Thursday people!!!  I just need to say, this show was SO MUCH FUN!!!! Since the first time for anything can be a memorable experience that sort of shapes who we become later in life and from hearing everyone's stories…I learned so much about my crew and the listeners!! I learned that Sassy Angel is a P-I-M-P, not … Read More

via Playing Devil's Advocate™

My lesson on loss…

I’ve lost a lot in my life…jobs, frienships, things, people and even relationships but as I look back… were they really losses?

I don’t know about you, but I have spent a lot of time, lost a lot of sleep and shed many tears bemoaning “losses” that ultimately were monumental wins to me in the long run. I have learned that when something or someone is removed from my life, it is only to be replaced by something better!  It’s better because every loss makes ME better!

When put into perspective, I can see how each loss has made me better….

 Losing relationships have taught me lessons about intimacy, vulnerability and compromise.

 Losing jobs have taught me about dedication, work ethic and the importance of being in control of my own destiny.

 Losing a loved one in their transition of life has taught me how to cherish those who are dear to me, learn the lessons they were put in my life to teach me and to never take for granted a moment in this life.

 Losing friends have taught me the value of interdependence, camaraderie and acceptance without judgement.

When I count up all that I’ve gained from those losses…I have actually won! The statistics are overwhelmingly in my favor!  I have learned to celebrate my losses as fervently as I celebrate my wins maybe you should too!!

In the end I STILL WIN!

Sometimes when you lose you win and when you win, you lose–Bernie Mac (My mentor, my friend and one of my Angels)

TTFN…

The Consummate Provocateur

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Never Dim Your Light for Others to shine…NEVER Apologize for Being YOU!!

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A Moment of Reflection

Looking in the mirror…

As an Expert Life Coach with a specialization in Interpersonal Relationships, I am often asked, “What makes you an expert?” and a quote I once heard accurately reflects my sentiment:

“A man can only be an expert in something in which he has personal experience…”

When choosing a specialization I had to think long and hard about that thing that I have dealt with, struggled with and subsequently come to terms with; and it was clear…Interpersonal Relationships!!

Interpersonal Relationships are social associations, connections, or affiliations between two or more people; which can vary from intimate (marriage) to social (work).

BINGO!! There is nothing more in this world that I have personal experience with than Interpersonal Relationships! I am a daughter, sister, friend, co-worker, sorority member, entrepreneur, I’ve been a girlfriend and even a fiancee! However my conundrum was…how can I use that thing to be of service to others???

When I was training to become a Life Coach my instructor once said, “you must become your own first client”; that seemingly simple directive sent me on a painfully difficult personal journey of self realization that forced me to take self inventory and accept personal responsibility for my life and choices…the good, the bad and the ugly.  I learned about who I am, what I believe, why I have made certain choices and most importantly my own personal WHY”.   Once that exercise commenced, I knew I was on my way to affecting a positive change in my life which would ultimately make me a better coach!   (notice I didn’t say I completed the exercise…I am well aware that I am an ever evolving creature who will only complete this exercise when I die)

The best relationships I had were the ones where I felt free to be ME! (a few examples are:)

  • When I worked for someone else and I was allowed to work independently, be creative and had minimal restraints…I excelled!
  • When I was a younger and my parents took away the curfew and the big rules were lifted…I didn’t rebel and life was smooth for my sister & brother (because they didn’t have to cover & stick up for me)! 🙂
  • When I broke off an engagement because my fiance wanted to control who my friends were, what I wore and pretty much everything else…my life took a DRAMATIC change for the best professionally!
  • When I can say whatever I feel and/or think to my friends and they don’t judge me….I am the life of the party!

Once I was able to figure out my patterns, learn who I am, be accountable and find a balance in all of my relationships….things changed!!! I am the author of my reality and create everything that happens in it.

Simply put:  I take what I do very seriously because as my clients learn and grow, so do I.  I relate to you because I am you.  I learn if I have some latent prejudices, insecurities and fears or some untapped strength, wisdom and foresight.   As a life coach it is not my job to judge my clients, force them to buy into my belief system or measure up to a standard I have set for myself based on my own self-work, rather it is my job to mirror them and show them the exact behavior they exhibit.  

As I sit in front of that mirror right now, my reflection shows me that the teacher has become the student.  You all teach me more about me every day for which I am eternally grateful.

What is your “Why”??? What is that thing that drives and directs your every move? 


TTFN…

The Consummate Provocateur

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Never Dim Your Light for Others to shine…NEVER Apologize for Being YOU!!

Have you ever talked to someone and said, “so what you are saying is…” and when you’re done,  they say, “now that you put it like that,  it sounds ridiculous, silly, selfish,  ________ (fill in the blank)” ? Well that is what I do…I am that mirror!! I allow you to see for yourself!

So, you’re a man…Really??

I recently had a conversation with a guy and my take-away was this:

Sometimes we lose touch with people & we forget why. Time passes & somehow you reconnect…Then you are quickly reminded WHY you lost touch w/them in the 1st place!

Without disclosing the entire details of the conversation…Let me pose this situation to you….. (Assuming I am older than you)

If while having a conversation with me, I continuously repeated how old I am & proceed to rattle off something like,

“I’m __yrs old and somehow over these years you think you have gotten smarter than me LIT-TLE BOY/GIRL…let me tell you something I seen guys/girls like you a million times…”

How would YOU take that???? How would take it if it were said to your sister/brother? How would you respond to it?

(I’ll wait….)

This interaction made me wonder…Since you continually repeat your age to validate your point;  is that an attempt to convince YOURSELF or me that you are a MAN??

Ultimately, I instinctively knew then as much as I know now that his belligerent tirade had NOTHING to do with ME but more to do with how this man saw himself  and felt about his shortcomings.  Nonetheless, it was rather disturbing to think he believed his behavior was representative of how a MAN handles conflict or being challenged intellectually and in his 40+ yrs of living, nothing in his life had better equipped him….FURTHERMORE, he must have forgotten who I am…don’t worry though, I quickly gave him a crash course! 😉

Here’s a hint: A real MAN will not attempt to elevate himself above a woman by demeaning her. In the grand scheme of things, you don’t have to respect me, but you will NOT disrespect me…Disrespect is NOT subjective! It is defined as:discourtesy; rudeness, treat without respect. Learn it, know it, GROW ON IT…don’t be a little boy in a grown man’s body your whole life…

TTFN…

The Consummate Provocateur

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